I Love You Sis with all my Heart and Soul

Too much time has passed by. I have thought about my sister a lot these past ten years. About how much I love her and care about her. Yet thinking that she only hates me. How do I find her? Will we ever be together again or at least talk? How she can be such a big part of my life and not be in it. Why we can only get along when talking on the phone but not in person. Does she ever think about me and miss me? Does she ever think about finding a way to find me since I can't find her?.........All the bad dreams I have about going to her house and being in the same room with her but I am invisible. She doesn't see me. We stuck together for so long. Both starving for our own identities. And then the time when our family consisted only of us twins and our children. If I could only find out that she is okay . And have thought about talking to her on the internet if she had a computer - some kind of contact. I have been putting off journaling about "us twins" for a long time because it just hurts too much. Yester day I was going to start dealing with it, but again put it off. Last night I had another bad dream about her. This morning, when we were going to town I heard the song on the radio that her and I used to sing to: " We are fam i ly , I got all my sisters and me." That was our song. One sister but we were one big happy family, sticking together. Thought about her practically all day, missing the times together. Missing my niece and nephew so much. And knowing they have their own families. Are they happy? And then tonight I get "the phone call." I still can't quite believe it. SHE FOUND ME! We have so much to talk about. So much catching up to do. And Sis, when you read this you will understand that the sadness you were feeling today was not your sadness - it was my sadness. How many of each others feeling have we felt the last ten years? I wonder. Often, I was feeling so depressed and having no idea why. We'll, feel this today. Feel happy. I feel so happy you found me. Can you feel it to?